I had a midnight visitor...
I padded down the stairs. There before the stove stood a spry old gentleman, peering through round glasses at a pan on the flame. "I do love a good kidney," he said. He had an accent soft as imported soap. "The faint tang of urine makes me particularly peckish. Have you any bread?"
I wordlessly brought out the loaf and butter. He lavishly spread a slice and then pointed the knife at me. "You vowed to read ULYSSES in a year, did you not?"
I nodded. He cackled. "The more fool you. Nonetheless, vows broken are the devil's delight. I've managed to secure an extension for you."
At last I found my voice. "For how long?"
A cut of kidney on the bread, a relish of bite. He chewed with reverence and then spoke. "As long as you wish. However, all your novels will be remaindered unless you fulfill your vow."
And then I woke up. It had all been a dream.
Except when I went down at dawn for my coffee, a pan was upon the stove, rimmed with oil, and emitting a faint stench of kidney and urine...